You Know You Grew Up in Bolinas If…

As home towns go, Bolinas is a warm and secure place for people to come from, at least on the surface. A popular social networking website features a page titled, “You know you grew up in Bolinas if…”, and members fill in their answers. I shall leave the name of the social site for your imagination, as well as the names of the people that posted their answers. But here you will find some of the clearest answers, all provided by people spanning three decades in age and time in the bucolic little village.

You know you grew up in Bolinas if…

You knew every dog in town by name, and would even engage in stories about which dog had been in a fight, was in heat, etc.

You think phone numbers have only four digits

Your parents ate your placenta

You think its normal that you’ve seen every adult you know naked, sunbathing and playing guitar on the beach…

You don’t understand why all those tourist have such a hard time finding the place without the sign that is now your coffee table.

The site of a naked woman riding her horse down Wharf Road is considered the norm, rather than unusual…

The Jefferson Airplane wasn’t so much a rock band as some people that allowed us to swim in their pol…

You finally got to carry a flag in the Sun Festival.

You thought the 4th of July was a festival during which the streets of Bolinas were closed off so no matter how drunk you got, at least you wouldn’t get hit by a car.

You get up early on the fifth of July and head down to Brighton Beach, marauding for “ground scores”: wallets, cameras, or, if your really lucky, dropped bindles…

You live on a dirt road and get excited when there are paved roads.

A 45 minute commute seems like nothing

Your family bonding activity was to sit around the ping-pong table and help groom the buds.

Your mom had pot brownies specially made for your sixteenth birthday party

You are thrilled to be able to buy food after 7pm

You think it’s bourgeois to have indoor plumbing.

When you take afternoon strolls on walking paths surrounded by urine sprinklers and ponds filled by sewers.

You were employed as a pruner at your family friend’s “plantation”.

You worked as a house cleaner and got paid 50% drugs and 50% cash….or 100% drugs and still had to front more….

Your parents were frequently more stoned than you were

You’ve dated everyone and their brother -literally.

The morning after you lost your virginity, the parents of the girl congratulate both of you, shake your hand, give you a hug…!

When one of your art classes in grade school was in a bus, you had friends who lived in a bus in a convenient field, your neighbors had a bus as a guest room.

You are not afraid of Jane with the pudding and birdseed on her face, and sticks in her hair. In fact, you warmly greet her and introduce her to friends.

Your nicest outfit came from the Freebox…

Your third grade teacher is known worldwide for his grass-fed beef, while your P.E. coach from seventh and eighth grade has supposedly lost a finger in a drug deal gone wrong…

You discussed the tide instead of the weather

You thought Stinson was fancy

You didn’t know pot was illegal until a policeman came and gave a speech about drugs to the class, and you ran home to tell your dad the shocking news, and he was just worried you’d ratted him out

You thought ‘The Sunfestival’ was a National holiday

No one’s parents were still together

Your Christmas Tree was actually a cut off branch because your parents didn’t want to murder a tree

You understood that Ponderosa Pine was both a tree and a person in town. Bonus points if you knew that his girlfriend was named Olive Tree…

Your mother named you after her favorite rock band

You are kind of “ok” with crazy people. In fact, they are in many ways the norm…

It was the norm for girls to date guys AT LEAST five years older than them

You didn’t loose your boyfriend/girlfriend, you just lost your turn.

You memorized the ruts in the roads in the dry seasons so you could still walk anywhere when it rained…

When you went to the co-op in the morning, everyone already knew you’d been playing strip ping pong the night before…

The nights were so quiet that you could tell who was coming home by the sound of their car going by across the creek…

You knew all the street people by name, and danced with them…

Halloween was the best ‘adult’ holiday ever… well, except for the Floating Sun Festival…

2 thoughts on “You Know You Grew Up in Bolinas If…

Add yours

  1. Sad for those who suffered for it. Bravo to those who survived despite it. There are those who incorporated only the good, and never latched on to the destructive aspects of what they saw.

    Like

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